Dirty cups and dirty vessels....

When I go into Target, one of the first things I do is buy a fountain drink. I love that they carry Pepsi products instead of Coke. So today when the the cashier handed me my cup, she handed it to me when her hand over the top of my cup. I cringe. I take my cup and tell myself that it will be okay, since I will be drinking out of a straw. I grab a napkin and wipe around the rim of my cup. I proceed to fill my cup up and reach for a lid. There in only one lid in the entire lid holder and it is face down. Faced down in that nasty ( at least in my mind ) and germy holder. My first thought was how long had it been since that thing had been cleaned. I am forced with a decision to take it and clean it or go without a lid. I am a klutz, so I took the lid. I just tried really hard not to think about it. I have turned into such a germ phobe. Anybody that knows me knows I do not take the first lid or the first magazine or the first anything. How many germy hands have been on it? It got me to thinking......

If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, and prepared unto every good work. II Timothy 2:21

As Christians, we want to be used by God. We want Him to fill us with His spirit without thought as to the cleanliness of our vessel. We rationalize and justify the dirt we let into our lives. We watch things we should not watch. We say things we should not say. We think things that we should not think. If you went into a restaurant that served your meal with caked on food on your utensils, you would refuse it and demand for another set that was clean. What if your ice tea was delivered with floaties in it? We would be irate and leave with the idea of never going back. We would be justified in that decision...but yet, we expect God to overlook the dirt in our own lives. We expect him to ignore the floaties in our vessel and expect Him to pour out His goodness in us.That would be like going into your kitchen and looking through your dirty dishes to find a glass to pour your tea into. A contaminated glass would contaminate anything you poured into it making it undrinkable.

I think a lot of our problem ( at least for me ) is that we think God understands. He understands that we try and he understands that we fail. We think that because 90% of our lives are clean, He will overlook the other 10%. That is nothing but a mind game we play with our self. God hates sin. He will not overlook sin and He will punish it. He hates it so much that He turned His back on His only son as he bore the sins of the world. While he can't tolerate sin, he is faithful and just to forgive us. Just as we can wash our dirty glasses and make them fit for use, so as it is with our vessels. We can become meet for the Master's use.

Be ye holy; For I am holy.

I Peter 1:16

Thank you....twenty years later

I received the best e-mail this morning. It totally rocked my world, but for reasons other than what you might think. Before I tell you about the content of the e-mail, we need to go back 20 years.

I worked at a company for 17 years in Auburn with some great people. One of them was a young divorced man in engineering that was a Marine reserve. He was a single father with custody of his young son and had just received orders for deployment. Now I know that today, this is an everyday occurence. I would imagine everybody knows someone that has been on or is currently on deployment. This was not the case twenty years ago. Before he left, a bunch of us got together and took him out for his send off. I remember talking with him and seeing the fear of the unknown in his eyes. I remember the despair he felt of leaving his young son with someone else to care for. But as with all soldiers, he answered the call. He provided us with his address and asked us to send letters. Of course, I obliged but I honestly don't recall if I wrote one letter or fifty. Luckily he came home and later married another friend of mine and they are living happily ever after.

So, here is the e-mail I received:

Twenty years ago, you took the time out of your life to write me, a U.S. Marine. I was in a place that I didn't know the outcome. One of the things that I did know was that I had the support of many people back home. I want you to know that I appreciate the letters that you sent to me back then and I still appreciate them now. I still have every letter that you sent me. I have been reviewing them lately and just had to send you a note to let you know that I still consider you a very special person. You comforted me in a time that was beyond my state of being. We may not have seen much of one another in the years since, but believe me, you are still near to my heart. Please continue to support our troops even though the government may not be as strong as it was back then. They are the ones that pay the price.

The reason it rocked my world is not the fact that he was thanking me for something I did. It is the fact that doing something so simple as writing a letter can have such an huge impact on someone else. I could not have spent more than 15 minutes per letter. How many e-mails do I get every holiday season asking me to send a card to a soldier and I don't take the time? How many missionaries would love to get a card of encouragement? I love to send out "just because" cards, but I don't do it near enough. E-mails seem to be the norm, but they can't hold a candle to the hand written letter or card. You know the feeling when you grab your mail and you see a brightly colored envelope sticking out in the pile of bills and junk mail. It just gives the heart a little lift. One of my previous posts was that I hoped to send out more cards to encourage others. Just as my letters encouraged him twenty years ago, his e-mail encouraged me. And that is what is really all about.

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

Proverbs 27:17

If only....

If only:

I could buy a house

I could lose weight

I could get married

I could get out of debt

I could have a baby

I could get a better job

I could make more money

If only. By our very nature, we are never satisfied. Our flesh wants what it wants when it wants. Those two little words can cloud our view on the way we see our lives in terms of having "arrived." Surely, once we accomplish all these things, we will be happy or at least content. They cause us to focus on what's missing in our lives rather than what we have. Those two words can keep us from living a life with a purpose right now. They can cause us to live in a continual defeated mode because sometimes "if only" may never happen. What then? None of the "if only" wishes are wrong within themselves, in fact, most of them are everybody's list. But they can also be a stumbling block to ourselves and those around us. They can make us feel like somehow we are not where we are supposed to be or maybe our life can't possibly be complete. Those two words can cause bitterness and resentment to set in as we look around and see that everybody else is marking their "if only" wishes off their list at lightening speed." The truth of the matter is that if we were able to check off everything off our list, we still would not be satisfied. We would probably just make another list to measure the quality of our lives. We would need to accomplish just a few more more things before we felt like we have arrived at the destination that we are sure we belong at and our lives will be completely fulfilled. If only. Don't let those two small words rob you of the joy of where you are today.

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

Phillipians 4:11

I am normal

I was thinking today about the things that scare me the most. By nature, I am not a scaredy cat. I mean, I do get scared, but only if the situation presents itself. I have noticed that as I have gotten older, my fears have changed. Here is my top ten list of fears:

1. Losing my husband or children. I know this one is cliche, but ask any wife/mother and this will top the list. I have been with my husband basically since I was 16 and I just can't even imagine life without him. Sure, there were times when I wanted to do the job myself, but I have kinda got used to having him around. Besides, who would cut my grass or keep my oil changed? My girls, well I just can't even let myself go there.

2. My house burning to the ground. I love my house, but my biggest fear is not losing my house of my stuff in the house. I don't care about the stuff I can replace like furniture, appliances, or clothes. Well, I would miss my collection of shoes, clothes, and purses. I am talking about my family pictures and videos. I used to keep all my pictures in a certain place and instructed my husband to be sure to grab them once everybody got out of the house. I have kept just about every church dress that my girls wore growing up. I have most of their baby dolls, barbies, stuffed animals, and books. Don't ask me why.

3. Dying a violent death. I am not afraid to die, but I just hope it isn't violent. I guess I have been watching too much Forensic Files because it has made me more scared of all the random evil in this world.

4. Falling off a cliff. I am not scared of heights, but I can't get too close to the edge for fear of falling. Just thinking about it will send chills over me.

5. Dentist. I know this is an odd thing to probably have on a list, but it goes back to my childhood. This memory involved a military dentist who seemed to have more interest in talking with his assistant about his upcoming vacation than he was paying attention to his 8 year old patient. He pulled my tooth and dropped it. Yep, I swallowed it. It traumatized me so much that I have always said I would rather birth a baby than go to the dentist.

6. Snakes. I hate snakes as most women do. They are probably God's vilest creatures in my opinion. I have a fear of walking up on one and considering that I live in a breeding ground for poisonous snakes, this one is not the least bit far fetched. I hate to see just about any animal die, but have feel no remorse over a dead snake.

7. Prescription drugs. I know this is probably another weird one to have on my list. I could never ever be a junkie for fear of the reactions to those little pills. Just read some of the side effects on some of those pills. I know they serve a purpose and I know that I will probably have to deal with this fear one day. Thankfully, I have never had to take much more than an antibiotic.

8. Long flights. I am not afraid of flying per se - but in the last ten years, I have become afraid of long flights. Anything over about 5 or 6 hours will make me nervous. I am going to have to suck it up though, because I now have a passport and am itching to plan a trip to Italy.

9. Losing my Independence. I am the type of person that will get in the car and go anywhere and everywhere. Give me a clear set of directions and I have no fear in reaching my destination. The thought of losing that scares the bejeebies out of me.

10. The dark. I am not talking about the darkness in my house or even in my yard. I am talking about dark parking lots or dark hallways. I have a fear of somebody grabbing me. I just gotta quit watch the True TV channel and Nancy Grace.

After listing my fears, I decided to see what the most common fears were and some of mine made it. What I found interesting were some of the more unusual fears. I guess I am normal after all.

Ablutophobia – the obsessional fear of bathing
Agyrophobia – the fear of crossing roads
Ambulophobia – the fear of walking
Anablephobia – the fear of looking up
Androphobia – the fear of men
Anthophobia – the fear of flowers
Arachibutyrophobia – the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of one’s mouth
Aulophobia – the fear of flutes
Chionophobia – the fear of snow
Chronomentrophobia – the fear of time
Ephebiphobia - the fear of teenagers
Genuphobia – the fear of knees
Gynophobia – the fear of women
Nomophobia - the fear of being out of cellular/mobile phone contact
Scuirophobia – the fear of squirrels
Papaphobia – the fear of the Pope


What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.

Psalms 56:3

Losing my inner Martha

I must confess that here lately, I have been losing my inner Martha. You know Martha - she was the sister of Mary. She was the great hostess that opened up her home to Jesus and His disciples. She worried, she fretted, and was upset with Mary for not helping her out. She even accused Jesus of not caring that she was doing all of the work. Yeah, I got a little ( ok, a lot ) of her in me....but let me explain.

Since my mom died 16 years ago, I have taken on the role of the hostess on my side of the family for all the holidays and most all other get togethers. Starting this year, I have taken on my husband's side as well. Let me start off by saying this: I love, love, love doing it and wouldn't have it any other way. I have always loved opening my home up to company. I was always the mom that allowed the girls to have plenty of sleepovers, fright nights, Iron Bowl parties, and such. But as any woman knows, this requires a lot of work. There is plenty of planning, cooking, and cleaning to do. On top of that I am a working wife and a working mom. Did I mention that I work outside the home? You get my point. Pulling off any hostessing event takes work. Top it off with a husband that always worked such long hours that he normally showed up just in time to sit down to eat or either fell asleep once he hit his recliner.

I always pressured myself to open up my home only in a spotless condition. I wanted the floors clean enough to eat off of and the toilet bowls sparking. I wanted every speck of dust to be gone. I wanted the meal to taste as though it was prepared by a gourmet chef in a kitchen that would pass a health inspection. The problem with all this is that in order to get this all done, I would have to start a week in advance. This would have been fine if I didn't have a full time job, a husband and two small kids. Cleaning a week in advance of the event would have been like shoveling snow out of your driveway while it is still snowing. I put such high expectations on myself - expectations that had no regard for my time constraints or limitations. That is when my Martha would come out. Grumbling, fretting, worrying, and yes, even complaining. Just like Martha, I loved what I was doing and why I was doing it - I just lost the joy while actually doing it. I was letting the burden of the work overshadow the joy of the event. I can look back now and see that nobody really cared about the condition of my home. Nobody ever commented about how clean my toilets were. They don't reminisce about my tasty home cooked meals. In fact, I see now that it is not about everything being perfect - it is more about the time we spent together. That is all that really matters. I hope that when my guests look back, they won't remember the condition of my floors or marvel at my dust free home. I don't want to be remembered for my meals. I hope they look back and say they felt loved, welcomed, and comfortable in my home. So the next time you are a guest in my home, please forgive me if it wouldn't pass a white glove inspection. I am learning to have a Mary heart in a Martha body.

Do all things without murmurings and disputings.
Phillipians 2:14

The hills are alive......

I woke up yesterday with a headache, but went on to work. It got progressively worse and I started to get sick to my stomach and throwing up. I felt terrible and went home. I was hoping that I wasn't coming down with this terrible flu that seems to be making it's rounds. Luckily, by early evening, I was getting back to my old self. All I know is that I am thankful for yesterday. Why you ask? Why would I be thankful for a day that I felt like a truck driver ran over me and then put it in reverse to run over me again? When my head felt like it was about to explode? I am thankful because it helps me to appreciate all the other days that are just normal days. Days where my head doesn't hurt and I don't have many aches and pains. We have a tendancy to forget how blessed we are on those days. It sometimes take a sick day to humbly remind us of just how blessed we really are. It helps me to have compassion for those that are in chronic pain. So yes, I am thankful for yesterday.

When I went into work today, I was all bubbly and happy. My co-workers said I was feeling too good to be that sick yesterday. They joked on me that I was faking it and that I must have had the "two hour flu." I jumped right into my favorite iconic scene from The Sound of Music. The one where Maria is atop the Alps and breaks out singing The Hills are Alive. While I am no Julie Andrews, this song always depicts how I feel when I feel really good and I have been known to start randomly singing it. The singing was lost on my coworkers just as it was with on my girls while they were growing up. They just don't get it.

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.

Proverbs 17:22a

Blushing

When is the last time you can remember that you blushed? The dictionary describes blushing a as "to redden, as from shame." I have to admit that sometimes I still blush, but not like I should. The ability to blush is something you have no control over. It is a normal reaction from your body when it feels like it is in an uncomfortable situation. The uncomfortable situation could be an indecent remark or gesture. It could be in the form of some of the filth you see in movies. It could come from a conversation that you know you should back out of. It seems that nowadays anything and everything goes. We have lost our ability to blush. Well, I guess we haven't actually lost the ability, we have lost those triggers that prompts us to blush. The more worldly we become, the less we are apt to blush. We lower our standards just a wee bit and tell ourselves this won't hurt us too much....and then before you know it, we are lowing them again. We start blushing less. Next thing we have developed a callous on the blush trigger. I love a good movie - especially a good comedy. It just seems that in order to get a laugh out of people, they have to take it to a level that is crude and appalling. The more we watch this junk the more we are de-sensitized to it - so they have to make the next one a little more cruder to get a laugh out of us. Same with TV shows. The shows that I grew up on like Little House on the Prairie or The Walton's would never be a hit today. The Brady Bunch or Andy Griffith Show would be a joke today because they based their humor on everyday life situations They were funny without being crude.

Just catch any reality show and you will see that most of these people will say or do anything. Things that should be private are out in the open for all to hear and see. We sit and watch it and while we don't necessarily approve, we don't turn the channel....because it doesn't cause us to blush.

Blushing is actually a good thing. Blushing should be our trigger to back up and get out of the situation that is just not what we should be a part of. It can be a warning to get back on the right path.

Were they not ashamed when they had committed abomination? nay, they were not at all ashamed, neither could they blush.
Jeremiah 6:15a

Let Me Be the One

Luke 17:11-19 tells the story of the ten lepers. In biblical times, anybody considered leprous was forced outside the gates of the city because of this highly contagious disease. They were shunned by their friends and family. The Bible said the 10 lepers were male, so they may have been married with children. How long had it been since they held their wives in their arms or played with their children. How long had they not been in the temple to worship? Not only had they lost the very things that was dear to them, but they were shunned and ostracized by mainstream society. They were considered unclean and even had to warn any passerby by covering their face and proclaiming "unclean." How humiliating that must have been. In today's world, this person would surely have been on some anti-depressant medicines to help them deal with this sickness. But one day, something happened. Jesus passed through. They cried out to Him and asked Him to have mercy on them. Jesus told them what to do and all ten did as they were told. Miraculously, all ten lepers were healed. Considering that leprosy was probably a death sentence back then, they were probably ecstatic. These ten lepers were given a second chance in life. The Bible says that one leper looked at his healing and turned back, fell on his face, and glorified God. One. Only one. It is easy to judge the nine other lepers, but how easy do we forget what God has done for us?

My prayer is that I would be that one.

Then will I go unto the altar of God, unto God my exceeding joy: yea, upon the harp will I praise thee, O God my God.
Psalms 43:4

Decisions, decisions....

My Germany trip has been cancelled. Well, I guess technically it has just been postponed. Jake's orders were changed suddenly and now he is going to Korea. I sure have no desire to see that country! I was disappointed, but Rex was even more so. Jake is working with my travel agent and Delta about getting a full refund on our tickets. Delta normally gives a full refund if the cancellation is due to change in military orders. We received our passports in the mail this week and just holding that little blue book in my hand makes me want to see the world. Since we have already planned the time off, I still want to go somewhere. Out of all the countries that we had planned to visit, I guess Italy or France would top the list. Italy holds a bigger lure for me though. My only fear is that I won't know what to do or where to go. Jake is an excellent trip planner. That was the one thing that made me want to go to Germany. He would have been there for several months before we came over and would have everything planned out for us. The thought of me planning the trip is just well, plain scary. Even scarier is me and Rex getting off the airplane with no idea as to what to see or where to go. I also think if we still go somewhere, and Jake does go to Germany soon, we won't be able to get our schedules just right to go.....or we will be out of vacation or even worse, money. But, I do have that little blue book and it would be a shame not to use it.


Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
I Peter 5:7

Toddler Testing??

I was watching a show this week and it was talking about the pressures of education and the effects it had on the students. Some really good students felt compelled to cheat so they could compete with the other high achievers for scholarship money. Not big news, I know. What astounded me was the moms of toddlers that were having their kids "tutored" so they could pass a test that would get their child into a really good preschool!!!??!! Are you kidding me? The actual test is $500.00 and who knows how much in tutoring. I guess if you don't get in a good preschool, then you won't get into a good private school, which means you don't get accepted into a good college, which means your kid is destined to fail.....and that all stems on a test that they took when they were three????? I think it would be money well spent for these moms to spend all this money on getting them some therapy for themselves.

I can remember when my girls were that age. I would try to teach them things like counting and ABC's. I would ask questions to test them on their knowledge. My oldest daughter was like a sponge. She readily learned and answered most questions with accuracy. I felt quite proud that I was raising such a smart child. With my youngest, well it was a completely different story. She didn't take it all in. Oh, she could recite her numbers and ABC's when prompted, but she wasn't too interested in learning or proving what she knew. I would be lying if I said I didn't think that she probably wasn't going to be as good as a student as my oldest. Case in point, both my girls were great students. Both of them earned several scholarships that helped A LOT with their college expenses. Kelly was just a little above average in high school ( she struggled in math ), but excelled in the top of her classes once she got to nursing school. Jamie graduated in the top 4% of her graduating high school class. I thinks she was #5 out of 123 students and her GPA was like 4.16. My point in all this is that it is ridiculous to label a child at that young age as to what you can expect from them. Every child develops and learns at different ages. Of course, we all want smart children - I mean you never hear a mom bragging how dumb her child is. The point is to remember that all kids come into their own in their own time. Sometimes, they need a little nudging from mom to get them going, but they sure don't need testing.

Train up a child int he way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Hindsight is 20/20

I am not the smartest person around, but I am not the dumbest either. I am lucky that I listened to the advice of my parents and bypassed a lot of trouble in my younger years. Make no mistake, I wasn't perfect...not by a long shot. I guess what I am saying that I am not one that had to learn the hard way - at least not in the big stuff. I do wish that I could have known a few more things about life while in my 20's. I would love to travel back and have a little talk with myself.....and here is what I would tell me:

You can't please everybody. At some point in your life, you are going to make someone mad. You will hurt people even if it's unintentional. People will think you are not being fair. Just do the best you can.

Sometimes you will win and sometimes you will lose. That is just the way life is.

Worrying. Most of the things that I worried over or got anxious over never came to pass. Pick what should really be a concern and let go of the other "what if's." What is going to happen will happen...and you will just have to deal with it.

Enjoy the weight you are at. I have always been thin most of my adult life, until the last 10 years. I wish I could tell my younger version of myself to enjoy it....because it won't last.

You basically can't change anyone. Most of the time liars will always lie. Gossipers will usually always gossip. Cheaters will usually cheat.

Get rid of negative people in your life. They have a tendency to be contagious, so just avoid them.

At some point, even the people who love you the most can and will disappoint you. It's life and you need to just get over it.

You won't always have your parents. Take notes when they talk about their childhood. Take it all in, because one day, they will be gone and you will regret it not listening as closely as you should have.

The "cool" kids in high school will age just as fast as you. Sometimes, they don't age as well.

All of your decisions will have consequences. Most won't be life changing, but they are still there.

Your babies will grow up fast. Really fast. Enjoy every single moment. Even those moments that are trying at the time. They all become memories.

A clean house won't win you any awards.

Lose the guilt gene.

There is a difference between forgetting and forgiving. Always, always forgive - because forgiveness is good for YOU.

Assume that most people have good intentions. For the most part, most people have no idea that they have offended you or done wrong by you.

Borrow the money if you have to and take your kids to Disney World. I think it needs to be experienced through a kid's eyes.

Your kids will watch you. You are making an impression whether good or bad. Make sure it's a good one.

Not everybody is trustworthy.

Your emotions can make or break you. They are God given, but if you don't control them, they WILL control you.

Take better care of your skin. You are going to have it for a long time.

Most things will pass. No matter how bleak or hopeless it looks, it will pass.

Time really does heal most wounds. Give yourself time to grieve and move on.

You are stronger than you ever thought possible.

As you get older, "stuff" really isn't that important.

Buying a house doesn't make it a home. There really is a difference.

Use your time wisely, because it goes by really, really fast.


Receive my instruction, and not silver; and knowledge rather than choice gold.

Proverbs 8:10