I have a friend that has recently gone through a break up after dating long term. While listening to her as she gave us all the details, I was shocked to all the other women giving this poor girl the same bad advice: "Follow your heart." This old cliche is by far some of the worst advice you can give to ANYONE! Oh, the words sound comforting and endearing, but they are far from harmless.
The heart is deceitful above all things, and is desperately wicked. Who can know it?
Jeremiah 17:9
Following your heart has led many a people (especially women) down the wrong paths in life. Our heart will have us basing our decisions off emotions rather than principles, values, or the word of God. This kind of thinking turns a blind eye to cheating, manipulation, lying, character flaws, or any other kind of red flag in the name of following your heart. It causes you to ignore the facts by claiming "but I love him." Problems will occur when we trust our feelings or emotions every single time. Most of the time our heart will lead us into choosing what we want instead of what is best for us or what God wants for us. Our natural instincts are to be selfish and getting our way. We basically weren't born with a desire to choose what is right for us. Our parents had to instill in us how to not be selfish. They had to instill in us how to make the right decisions based on morals, values, and the word of God. The advice of following your heart is pushed on us by the world as a valid way to approach most of life's decisions. I am a huge fan of chick flicks where all the female characters are lured into relationships/marriages based on their emotions and feelings. Just because I enjoy them doesn't mean I buy into that malarkey any more than I buy into believing there really is a Superman or Edward Cullen. Feelings of love and passion are great and are not to be dismissed. But they are just that: feelings. By following your heart, you let that feeling trump integrity, honor, selflessness, hardworking, and the list goes on. Most of the time, love should not be based on a feeling, but off a choice. My pastor gives the best advice to the unmarried: do not give your heart completely to anybody before you are married. He says that because once the heart gets involved, chances are you will follow your heart when it is best to really walk away.
In the case of my friend, she should really walk away. The red flags are there ( and there are a lot). The other women might as well be telling her to ignore ALL those facts and red flags and just do what feels good right now. What is easiest right now. They should insert "but you will pay for it later" at the end of it though. My advice would be: Run, don't walk. He has ruined your makeup, don't let him ruin your life. You are so much more deserving than what you are getting. You tried and you have tried, but it just isn't working. Of course, mine isn't going to be all warm and fuzzy, but she would thank me later.
The world says follow your heart, but God clearly says not to follow your heart. God said it, so that settles it.
