I remember almost a year ago texting my oldest daughter about the previews I had seen about the upcoming movie The Vow. I had read the article on the real life couple that inspired the book, so I was excited about the movie. Of course, anything with Channing Tatum in it is an added bonus. With all the publicity over the movie, they have been on several talk shows circuits talking about their story. While it is a great love story, most people are shocked by it. How this man chose to honor his vow rather than walk away when that would have been the easiest thing for him to do. He was faced with a wife who had no memory of him. None. She had not one single memory of them as a couple , but had intact memories of her ex boyfriend. That had to be tough. He was advised to divorce her due to her rising medical bills, because he had no assurance that she would stay with him. He was determined that he would start all over and woo her again. He CHOSE to stand by his vow for better or for worse. They had only been married for 10 weeks before the crash that brought on the worst. That is not the only amazing thing though. Here was his wife, who had not one shred of feeling for this man. Not one recollection of any memory of them that caused her to fall in love. She said she had to make the decision to love him.
In the Greek language, there are four words to express love, whereas we only have one English word. We use this one small word to express how we feel from pizza to our spouse.
Agape - this is the love that has no boundaries. No conditions. This kind of love gives sacrificially to the object of their love. It doesn't keep a record of wrongdoings. It doesn't keep score. It doesn't harbor bitterness or resentment. It doesn't react. It doesn't seek revenge or wrongdoing. This kind of love just keeps loving even if circumstances change within the marriage.
Eros- this is a passionate love. Love with desire and longing for the object of that love. This is what we would consider a romantic love. While there is nothing wrong with this kind of love, it is wrong if that is the basis of your love. This kind of love should always be a by-product of agape love. Unfortunately, this is probably the foundation of what most couples base their love on. Boy see girl and thinks she is hot. Girl sees boy and thinks he is cute. While, I understand there has to be a natural attraction, it is not wise to build your relationship on that. This kind of love will crumble under circumstances of the couple portrayed in The Vow.
Philia - this is a brotherly love. The love that we feel for our friends.
Storge - this a natural affection. It is the love that we have for our children and family members. We love them, because it is a love that comes naturally.
Like all movies, The Vow had a happily ever after ending. But listening to the interviews, it wasn't always easy. It is hard for me to determine who had it harder - the husband or the wife. I have decided it was the wife. She had to CHOOSE to love her husband in the agape form of love when there were no feelings. Once she she made the choice to love him, the feelings of love followed. While this story is an extreme, love is always a choice. That choice is what keeps you loving even on those days that the feelings just aren't there.
Seriously though, if I had awoke from a coma with Channing Tatum claiming to be my husband, I don't think I would question it.
And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
I Corinthians 13:13
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