What do Demi Moore, Sheryl Crowe, and me have in common? No, I am not talking about our undeniable talent or even long, luxurious hair. We are all turning 50 in 2012. I know what you are thinking. They both look so much older than me.
I just celebrated my milestone birthday this past Saturday. It's not like turning 50 bothered me a lot, but it did weigh on my mind a lot in the months leading up to it. It just sounds so old. How in the world did 50 sneak up on me so fast? It is one of those life events that you just sorta stop and take an inventory of your life. People asked me how it feels to be 50? Well, to be honest, it feels like I did at 49. I feel the same. It affects your way of thinking more. The way you look at things. I guess I should be grateful that I was allowed to turn 50 because so many are denied that privilege. There was a time when turning 50 was out of most people's life expectancy. When I was in my twenties and thirties, fifty sounded so old and most definitely light years away. Visions of little old ladies with blue rinses and SAS shoes popped in my head. Okay, that is an exaggeration, but I definitely saw someone older than me at 50.
Like all things, there are some good, bad, and ugly to turning 5o. Since I am trying to see the good in everything, I will start with:
The Good:
50 is the new 30. Okay, maybe the new 40. At any rate, I think my generation look a lot younger than the prior generations.
Self acceptance. While I do try to maintain a decent appearance, you sorta just accept yourself a little more. Your appearance, while still important, is just not top priority anymore.
I learned I had a voice and I use it more now.
Wisdom. I don't claim to know it all, but with age, really does come wisdom.
You. With the empty nest, this time is about you.
The bad:
It came too fast. Just how did I let it sneak up on me without doing all those things I planned on doing with my life? Seriously, I feel like I just turned 30 a couple of years ago. You realize at 50 that some doors have been closed. No more wondering if you should have one more child.
Loss of memory. I can remember what I wore on my 30th birthday, but honestly can walk into a room and forget what I was going in there for. But, on a good note, you can't hold a grudge very long, because you forget too easily.
Gray hair. I have been graying so a long time, but now, I am 100% gray, so if I don't stay on top of keeping my hair colored, I will have the gray streak that I could not stand to see on ladies when I was younger. Sorry, I get it now.
Hot flashes.
Time. At 50, you realize you are no longer middle aged. I am closer to my death than I am my birth. That may sound morbid, but it can also be liberating. It is a stark reminder that our lives are but as a vapor. When you are younger, you feel like you have nothing but time. At 50, you realize that is just not the truth anymore. You learn to just let some stuff roll off your back.
The ugly:
That moment when you catch a good look of yourself in the mirror and wonder just who is that old person looking back at you? She sure has a lot of wrinkles around her eyes. Then you realize it's you. Maybe it's just some bad lighting, because I still have the image in my head of what I look like. She looks more like 30.
Aging body. There just is no way around it if you are not just genetically blessed. You wake up and the next thing you know, you have no waist. Your once skinny arms now jiggle when you move them. Everything is heading south. There are not enough hours in the day to combat aging with exercise. The best thing about an aging body? Aging eyesight.
So, 50 came whether I liked it or was prepared for it. I am coming to realize that age is just a number. I am honored that I get to BE 50. Getting older is inevitable, but growing old is optional.
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