Oh patience, where art thou?

This has been a rough week at work. Scratch that - it has been a rough couple of weeks due to an ongoing tax audit. I am thinking (and hoping) that soon, I will see the light at the end of the tunnel. On top of that, I did not sleep good last night. Tonight, I am unusually tired and my house is extremely messy. As I was moving along making myself do a little light housework, I saw it. A pile of my husband's work clothes just piled up by his side of the bed. I have been super busy this week, so I did not take the time to pick them up every day. You see, I gave up that battle years ago. So most days, I just swing by and pick them up and put them in the hamper, which by the way is just a few feet away. No biggy. Tonight though, as I stooped to pick them up (and murmur under my breath), I Corinthians 13:4 popped into my head.

Charity (love) suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaulted not itself, is not puffed up.

Basically, this verse is saying love is patient and kind - it does not envy, it does not boast, and it is not proud.

Okay, patience is not what I am feeling when I am this exhausted. Kindness is not what I feel like showing as I take the time to pick up HIS dirty clothes. Here's the thing though, this was not a suggestion that God inspired Paul to write. It was not given based on your circumstances you may find yourself in. As I picked them up, instead of losing my patience, I remembered just how early my husband gets up to support his family. I think about the long hours and injustices that he has recently met on his job. I thought of how he has knee problems because of the constant getting up and down on a bread truck for over 25 years. So instead of losing my patience, I found myself thankful for my hard working husband. Just by changing my way of thinking, my nice quiet Friday night remained just that.

It only happens once in a lifetime...

I have a co-worker that just became a first time dad. After taking the week off with his baby mama, he came in to work today, noticeably tired. He was a proud papa though...he talked about how sweet his new little girl was and how much he couldn't stand it when she had to go back to the hospital and be put under a light for her jaundice. He said watching her cry tore him up and he was ready to go grab her and comfort her. Yep, he now gets it.

You only become a first time parent once. Most couples go into parenthood having read all the "how to" books and feel like they are prepared for the job that is about to be put on them for the next, well, for the rest of their lives. Parenthood is a job that you never retire from, take a vacation from, or quit. They have no idea how their world is about to be turned upside down. I remember when I had my first child - she was wanted, she was planned, and she was loved....but I had NO idea how much work was involved into tending to a baby. I was clueless! The first 30 days are probably the hardest as you ride the roller coaster of emotions mixed with fear, anxiety, and doubts about your abilities. Then add lack of sleep and the feelings of being overwhelmed.....but can I also add that you soon learn the true meaning of unconditional love. You are amazed at how much more you love your husband and you are in awe of how much you can love this little person in such a short time. You hear other moms say this, but you just don't "get it" until you have your first one. All of a sudden, you have this new found respect for your own mom and realize all the sacrifices she made for you.

As he was talking about wanting to protect his little girl from having to lie under the lights, I wanted to tell him that it will get much worse than this. Wait until she comes home the first time and she didn't get picked for a team. Or maybe she didn't make the cheerleader squad. Maybe she was snubbed from a birthday party. Or somebody hurts her feelings. Or gets her heart broke the first time. It even gets worse than that. What about when they are grown and you see them making a mistake and you just have to let them. Or watching your child go through a divorce. All that comes with the title and their is no pain medicine to take to take away this kind of pain.

Motherhood is the most wonderful, terrifying, fullfilling, excruciating thing life has to offer and everybody should experience it at least once. Lucky for me, I got to experience it twice.

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord.
Psalms 127:3a

Motivation

I have a very good male friend at work who I view as my little brother. We love to talk family, politics, religion, and the latest world events. He is seriously one of the most well read man I have ever met. We have the same views on most things and he has the keenest sense of humor. He always come up with a way to see something in a new light that I often overlook. The only thing we don't agree on is music. He also has the best memory ever - he can recall any theme song to any sitcom from the 70's until present time. He is a good person to have around when you are stumped with a question and the answer is on the tip of your tongue....99% of the time he can tell you the answer. We were talking the other day about different people's personalities and the conversation turned to one certain co-worker. One who misses the mark most of the time at work - basically a low performance employee who seems oblivious to the fact that he is causing problems with other people getting their job done. He asked the question "I wonder what motivates this guy?" Wow, I never thought of it like that. Most people are motivated to do a good job for self satisfaction (me), bosses approval (me),to support a family ( he has none), or maybe to move up the corporate ladder. (Ain't gonna happen.) He is not motivated by money or success or even a good review by his boss. I seriously don't think anything motivates him, but he will probably outlive us all with his "could care less" attitude. Well, unless somebody at work goes postal on him.

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord.

Colossians 3:23

The Trial - Part Deux

So Casey Anthony walked on Sunday. For the first time in over three years, she became a free woman. Over 1,000 people showed up to protest her release at 12:00 midnight. She was ushered into a black SUV heading to who knows where? Where does she have to go? Her defense team is probably going to put her up for awhile, but how long does anyone expect that to last? The best of company gets old after awhile, and a non working liar would get to stinking quicker than dead fish in the refrigerator. Then where? I am sure she will get one offer to tell her story and that will be it. Nobody wants to touch her with a ten foot pole due to the public out lash. Even the classy porn company, Vibe Entertainment, reneged their offer to make a movie. I guess porn watchers have standards too. She will be broke, no friends, no family, and no job. Seriously, what kind of job could she get?

My point to this blog though is the public out lash against the jurors. Having watched every aspect of this trial, I have no doubt she is guilty of something. Even the female defense attorney that never left her side during the trial and was often seen hugging her, stammered and evaded the question when asked would she trust Casey Anthony with her children. She talked about the Casey she knew from prison or the Casey she became close to, but not one time did she say yes, I would trust Casey with my children. Nobody would.....but, a jury of her peers found her not guilty. Sure, I was mad and thought justice was not served. Maybe it wasn't, but the jury spoke. I heard on the news that one of the jurors had to quit their job and go into hiding due to death threats. Some of them are being rejected from eating in certain restaurants. All they did was answer a call of duty and came to a decision. Sure, it sounded like they didn't listen to the same testimony that I did. Sure it seemed like a common sense no brainer slam dunk case for the prosecution - but at the end of the day, they voted on what their gut told them, or at least I hope they did. Most of them said they knew she was not innocent and it made them sick to give the verdict that they rendered. They felt like they needed more evidence. Our forefathers designed a judicial system for everybody to have their day in court. Innocent until proven guilty no matter how guilty one appears. Sometimes it will fail us, but more often than not, it works. Yes, I hate that Casey probably got away with murder, but I can't help but think if I were on trial ( totally innocent of course ), I would hope I could have 12 people that demanded to have enough evidence to convict me.

Vengeance is mine: I will repay sayeth the Lord.

Romans 12:19b

Happy birthday Daddy!!

Today is my daddy's birthday - he would have been 76. We lost him 4 years ago - just 11 days after his 72nd birthday. Our tradition after my mom died was to have my dad a birthday celebration. Most of the time we all went out to eat, but in the past couple of years, we usually had a cookout. I remember the last cookout very vividly. I took several good shots that day of my dad and of my dad and my girls. If only I had known that would have been our last celebration, I would have spent more time sitting by him or taking more pictures.. I remember sending the pics to a friend by e-mail and she remarked how great and healthy my dad looked. I guess looks can be deceiving. We never really know what the cause of death was. He went to bed one night and just never woke up. Even in death, God is good. My dad never wanted to go in some traumatic way, he always wanted to go peacefully and he did. The sad way about that kind of death, is that it is sudden and no time to prepare like when my mom died....although, I never really prepared for hers even though I knew it was coming. My dad had become our focal point after my mom died. He liked for the entire family to get together to go out and eat a couple of times a year. Even with our busy schedules, most of us always carved out the time to go. So while he is gone, I can look back with no regrets in spending time with him....although I wish I had called and checked in on him more often.

I remember when my dad died, I had the feeling of being an orphan. I know how that must sound because I was 45 at the time with a husband and two grown children. The thing is nobody ever loves you like your parents. No matter what happens in your life, you can always count on them. And when it is gone, it is gone forever.

Happy birthday daddy - you are gone, but never forgotten.

Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.

Proverbs 23:22

Strongholds

The dictionary defines the word stronghold as a place of security or refuge. In ancient times, a stronghold was built to protect from invasion of the enemy. They were usually thick walls built up around them for protection. They were highly guarded and hard to break through.

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.

II Corinthians 10:4

Spiritual strongholds in our life often are built for the very same purpose. They start out as a lie from the devil as he softly whispers it into your ear. It is probably one of Satan's most used tactics. Once the seed has been planted, it gets lodged into our imaginations, our arguments, and our intellect. They begin to gain influence over a person and sets itself up against the knowledge of God. They are lies that within our intellect that we claim as truths. Sadly, they don't leave us once we get saved. They are usually formed over years from our parents, our teachers, society, fears, and life's experiences. Some of the strongholds we probably aren't even aware of. They can be born out of lack of understanding or knowledge of the scriptures.

One kind of stronghold is the way we view God. It is probably one of the most popular strongholds within our society. You can view God as this large tyrant ready to stike at a moments notice at the minute of wrongdoing. If this is your view, it would be hard to run to him or trust him. Our most natural reaction would be to see him as a cold, distant, and uncaring God - none which is true. How many times have you heard - "if God was a loving God, why does he send people to hell?" Or "if God loves everybody, why does he allow children to be hurt or killed?" The truth is that all that is because of the fall of man. We brought it on ourselves. So this stronghold once viewed against God's word doesn't hold up. It is a stronghold you have allowed in your mind. Another stronghold is thinking you are too bad of a person to be saved. God's Word clearly states he isn't willing that any should perish. Or how about the child that was brought up in a household where he was unloved who now has the "I'm useless" stronghold in his imaginations - but for God so loved the word debunks that. Maybe it's the couple that thinks they can not afford to tithe? The truth is you can't afford not to tithe. The Bible clearly states that you are robbing God. Or maybe the young couple that is madly in love geting involved in premarital relations? They build up a stronghold that God understands because we will one day be husband and wife. Maybe you have been wronged and you have the stronghold of unforgiveness. You can justify it, you can rationalize it, but you can't find God's blessings of it in His Word. I could go on and on but you get my point.

Spiritual strongholds are just as strong and hard to break through as the ancient strongholds. The problem with strongholds is that they cause you to compromise your sin and they keep you from repenting from them. Strongholds breeds hopelessness and paralyzes our faith. They cause us to go through situations in our lives without guidance from God. This leaves us on our own to draw our own conclusions without consulting the Word of God. We devise ways to handle life's problems that contradicts the Word of God. Strongholds also hinder our prayers and cause us to double minded. We pray for God's will all the while holding on to our Plan B in our mind not realizing or trusting God that His Plan A will be enough.

The truth is we all struggle with strongholds in our minds. It is part of our flesh and the only way to pull them down is to bring the stronghold and measure it against the truth. No vain imagination or stronghold can stand up to that.

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.

John 8:32

The trial

It's been awhile since I have posted anything. The reason is because of the Casey Anthony trial. I have taped the 6 hour court session faithfully every day since it began. On top of that, I have watched Nancy Grace and Dr. Drew listening to their opinions as well as the opinions of the professionals. I have followed this story since it broke back in June 2008. I was at the point that I was ready for it to be over, so I could get my evenings back. The state of my house has been has taken a toll since the trial has started. Maybe it's because I am a mom to two daughters, but this case captivated me like no other case with the exception of the Natalie Halloway case. It came in at a close second. Both involved missing daughters.


I listened to each expert present the facts for both the defense and the prosecution. While they didn't agree on a lot of things, they both had to agree to some of the facts, like the presence of human decomposition and chloroform in the car. The defense brought up things in their opening statements that they did not / could not prove, even though they promised they would. They changed their story about some things. I almost felt sorry for Jose Baez ( not really ), because honestly, he didn't have much to work with. He even called his own defendant a lying slut. Really???



The prosecution did an outstanding job with their closing arguments and their rebuttal. They nailed it. They presented Casey's web of lies leading up to the disappearance up until her being thrown in jail. I really thought it was going to be a slam dunk for the prosecution. They did not have to prove motive or cause of death. Seriously, the child was found triple bagged with duct tape over their skull....I really didn't need to know HOW she died, but knew enough facts to know it was a homicide. Nobody would make an accidental drowning look like a murder. That doesn't even make sense. They only had to believe it with reasonable doubt, not NO doubt. I think the state did prove that. After all the facts were presented, it really came down to me as a common sense trial. If you used your common sense, all the pieces of the puzzle fit perfectly. Sadly, common sense is not so common.


Twelve people saw it differently. It makes me livid. Mad as heck really! I suspect they will see things differently once they get out and hear all the facts they did not hear in court. They may soon realize they let someone get away with murder literally. But did she? Nah....she may have gotten away with it in this lifetime, but nobody gets away with wrong doing. One day, she ( and all of us ) will stand before the only Judge that really matters. Her lies won't hold up there. She won't have a defense team to defend her there. She won't get away with murder at that time. The punishment that will be given out then is far worse than what the state of Florida can do.

One thing that really bothers me is the celebration the defense put on afterwards. I understand, that they "won" their case and after three years of hard work, they deserve a time to relax - but to do it openly where all can see, is just down right disrespectful. They should have taken it privately where the world could not see. They may have won a case, but a precious little girl is gone forever and nobody is paying for her death. I see no reason to celebrate.

What's next for Casey Anthony? After falsely accusing her dad of sexually molesting her and hiding the body, it will he hard for her to go back home again. It will be hard for her to get a job - I doubt she even wants one. I have a feeling, that Miss Anthony is going to get her a nice little book deal and get paid to give interviews. Yeah, life may be good for a short while, but she will go through the money as quick as she comes into it and we will be hearing about her again in the news real soon. Probably sooner than later.