The Golden Rule

Tonight me and my husband went out to eat. We sat by a party of five that was having a good time. They were a little loud, but I imagine if five of my best girlfriends went out, we might would get a little loud too, so I really didn't pay them much attention. When they left our waitress came to us and apologized for the rudeness. I honestly did not pick up on any of that, although my husband did. She said they were rude from the time they sat down to the time they left.

Most of us can recite the golden rule - do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This seems to be a rule that has been pushed by the wayside. Society now tells us to do unto others before they do unto you. Basically to get them before they can get you. Has this rule become so outdated that it belongs to the prior generation? It surely seems so. It seems now, if someone does something to tick you off, it seems "okay" to put them in their place. But deep down, we know that is not the case. Their is no clause in this rule that allows rude behavior based on the situation we find ourselves in. I know when I am in the mall and one of the sales people that are pushing lotions tend to get on my last nerve. I always give them a look that basically says no thanks, but sometimes that is not enough to deter them from asking me to show me something. I always say no thank you and sometimes they will ask me why. I want to scream BECAUSE I don't want any!! Of course I don't, because well, they are just trying to do their job and make a living. I could only imagine in their job how much rejection and rudeness they encounter just to make a living.

What about the people that are really rude to us? Maybe a random stranger was rude to you. Or maybe the check out lady was short. While their behavior is not right, you never really know what is going on in their lives. Maybe it is a single mom who has been up all night caring for a sick child and had no choice but to come in to work on no sleep. Or maybe someone just buried a husband, mother, wife, or child and life is just a little tough right now. Maybe they are going through financial or marital problems and the stress in just below the surface. Or maybe it is just their personality - but we should always strive to still apply the golden rule to them as well. My motto to people with that kind of personality is to "kill them with kindness." Can you imagine the impact you might have one someone when they are rude to you and you just smile and showed them kindess?

Maybe our enemies. Maybe someone that has talked about you? Back stabbed you? Lied about you? Bullied you? God tells us to love our enemies. Wow - that is a tough one for anybody. It is hard to have a heart to love someone that has genuinely hurt you and then apply the golden rule to them. I think the only way we can truly show love is by praying for them. A lot of times when we pray for the ones that hurt us, God doesn't always change their heart, he changes yours. He allows you to see that person in a different light. This change allows you to love them and not be rude or retaliate in response to their rudeness. You start seeing that person as someone deserving of the love and kindness you bestow upon them, just as we are undeserving of what Jesus bestows up on us. In the end, you will give an account of YOUR actions, not theirs.

I have always made a point to overly thank my cashiers and waitresses or anybody that is "serving" me. One night I was in a store and it was just about closing time. I paid for my purchase and thanked her. She responded that I was the nicest customer she had all day. Seriously???? She told me that I thanked her several times over helping me and again several times when checking out. My point is not to pat myself on the back, but to point out that she noticed. Noticed that someone was thanking her for helping them. Yes, it is her job, but she is still serving me. How sad is it that a couple of "thank you's" set me apart from ALL the customers she waited on that day. I must admit I don't always live by the golden rule. I let my tiredness or emotions step in and take over.

Nobody like to be on the receiving end of rudeness, backstabbing, gossiping, lying, bullying, or any other type of bad behavior. Yet, we justify it when we are on the giving out side of it (and we all do.) We feel like our response was somehow provoked, but we ultimately decide for ourselves how we are going to respond to any kind of rude behavior. Believing anything else is nothing short of lying to yourself.

Society may see the golden rule as out of date, but I say kindness never goes out of style.

Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. Matthew 25:40

Just be....

Kind

Loving

Loyal

Honest

Committed

Compassionate

Content

Determined

Helpful

Happy

Friendly
Fair

Forgiving

Devoted

Humble
Flexible

Encouraging

Gentle

Hopeful

Respectful

Self Controlled

Trustworthy

Hard working

Soft spoken

Satisfied

Patient

Long Sufferening

Humble

Responsible

Obedient

Pure

Reasonable

Repentful

Tender hearted
Considerate
Loving

Thoughtful

Family oriented

Godly

On time

Appreciative

Prayerful
Hospitable

Strong

Faithful

Joyful

Authentic

Righeous

Thankful

Service minded

Submissive

Giving

Wonder how much pleasant we would be if we practiced most of these on a daily basis.

Mother vs Mama

I have a good friend that just returned to work after having her first baby. As it goes with new mothers, she told of all the things her sweet baby girl is doing. From her first smile, to the colic, to the sleepless nights. Trying to get her on a schedule so hopefully, work won't be as hard. Talking about how hard it was to leave her that first day to come back to work.

While I didn't tell her this, I was thinking - yep, you are earning your "mama" stripes. See, most anybody can become a mother in 9 months. That's the easy part. The minute you give birth, the term mother applies to you. The title of mama though is earned. Earned through the years as you give of yourself to your children. You earn it when you get up for those midnight feedings. When you get up all night long with a sick child and change the bedsheets yet again from either sickness or wetting the bed. When you get up and check to make sure there are no monsters under the bed or hiding in the closets. When you take the time to read the book again, even when you want to say enough already. When you stop what you are doing because they want to show you their latest new dance routine. And yet again when they have "improved up on it." When you put your book down because they want you to "watch them" just one more time in whatever new they have just learned. When you have to punish your children for wrongdoing because you know they need to learn right from wrong. When you have to say no, because it is in their best interest. When you say yes to going somewhere because their excitement over-rides your tiredness. The list goes on and on and on.

The title of mom does take many years to earn - it is not always easy, but it is always satisfying. Our children are bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh. As moms, we fail, we falter, and we disappoint - but I think the one thing we do right is love unconditionally. I have alot of titles - wife, sister, friend...but one of my favorites is mama.

Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain tht build it.

Psalms 127:1a

For crying out loud

I am a cryer. Always have been and always will be - but I must say, I cry for so many different reasons now than I did say 20 years ago. I can remember when I was a newlywed, the first real argument I had with my husband. I don't remember what it was about, but I do remember how hard I cried afterwards. And if he ever hurt my feelings, well, the make up was ruined for the day. Fast forward 20 years, and I would not even get misty eyed over Rex hurting my feelings. Mad maybe, but no tears. While I don't have full fledge crying spells very often now, I am more prone to get misty eyed. It doesn't take much - I can read a feel good story, hear a sad story, reminisce over things, listen to a song, or just be watching TV. It doesn't take very much to stir my tear glands into production. Even my kids will be like, "mom, are you crying?" For some reason, crying makes a lot of people uncomfortable. I have a friend tell me not too long ago that she had not cried in over five years and she worried about what that said about her. I did the research and it says that women cry an average of 47 times per year. I don't know if that was a full fledge crying spell or just getting teary eyed. I do know that after I have a good ole crying spell, I always feel 100% better. It helps you release some of whatever is bothering you. Sometimes when things get to be too much, I just can't help it. The emotions I feel turn my tear glands into a water faucet. Not too long ago, as I was having one of these episodes, I was talking to my besty about it. She told me something that I don't think I will ever forget. She reminded me that tears are prayers too.

God sees every tear that we shed. He knows the reason behind those tears. Just as a parent is moved to comfort a crying child, our Father wants to comfort us in our tears. The bible says He bottles some of our tears and records them. I have no idea why He records them, but it is comforting to know that He notices and takes the time to record the tears. See, most of the time when I have my good cry, I do it in private. Just another reminder that no matter who we think we are hiding stuff from, we can never hide anything from Him.

Put thou my tears into a bottle: are they not in thy book?

Psalms 56:8b